Got it! 

Today I’ve read an amazing article by John Gorman (@thisisgorman on Medium) that got me thinking. I find myself in a similar position: I don’t want neither love nor fame. But what do I want? This is a hard question that a very few people can actually answer correctly without deceiving themselves. I thought it was fame. But I didn’t pursue it (because in fact, I don’t want it) and felt bad for it. Then I thought it was love. But pursuing it only caused me pain. However, reading through this article didn’t give me a sense of satisfaction either. There was no a-ha moment. So, I pondered for a while “why did I convince myself that I needed fame and love in the first place?”. And then it hit me: all I’ve ever wanted was to create. And not just create, but to collaborate with interesting people. And not just collaborate, but to have enough resources to create whatever I come up with. That’s why I thought I needed fame — because it could give me connections and resources. But when I failed to achieve that I started seeking other people validation by meeting their expectations just so that I could continue paving my way to that dream without looking weird. Yep, I tried to hook up with someone just for the sake of it. This is silly AF, but I’ve only realized it when I put it this way. Where do I go from here? Well, that’s easy. I’ll continue paving my way without feeling bad about it. I’m living my authentic truth.

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