Got it! 

Today I’ve read an amazing article by John Gorman (@thisisgorman on Medium) that got me thinking. I find myself in a similar position: I don’t want neither love nor fame. But what do I want? This is a hard question that a very few people can actually answer correctly without deceiving themselves. I thought it was fame. But I didn’t pursue it (because in fact, I don’t want it) and felt bad for it. Then I thought it was love. But pursuing it only caused me pain. However, reading through this article didn’t give me a sense of satisfaction either. There was no a-ha moment. So, I pondered for a while “why did I convince myself that I needed fame and love in the first place?”. And then it hit me: all I’ve ever wanted was to create. And not just create, but to collaborate with interesting people. And not just collaborate, but to have enough resources to create whatever I come up with. That’s why I thought I needed fame — because it could give me connections and resources. But when I failed to achieve that I started seeking other people validation by meeting their expectations just so that I could continue paving my way to that dream without looking weird. Yep, I tried to hook up with someone just for the sake of it. This is silly AF, but I’ve only realized it when I put it this way. Where do I go from here? Well, that’s easy. I’ll continue paving my way without feeling bad about it. I’m living my authentic truth.

Here are my personal notes that hold no value to anyone except me.
Are they somehow offending you? Did I say something wrong or miss something?
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